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Who’s Worse of ’11 – Kreayshawn vs. Loutallica

Date December 5, 2011

As you know, the vast majority of time at musicforants.com is focused on supporting good music, but we also acknowledge there’s some pretty abysmal artists out there sucking up the airwaves. The last couple years we’ve pitted what we consider to be the two of the most disgustingly bad artists against each other to decide once and for all who is the worst of the year. In 2009, you guys decided that the cringe-worthy Postal Service rip-off act, Owl City was the worst, beating out formidable competition from frat-boy white rapper, Asher Roth. Last year, it was the contest of artists with irritating punctuation marks, Ke$ha vs 3OH!3 (of which Ke$ha walked away handily with the grand prize as the worst).

This year we have obnoxious, gimmicky black culture-exploiting rapper / youtube sensation Kreayshawn. She’s like the female version of Vanilla Ice (but more annoying), with a voice that’s about as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. Seriously, just listen to her try to freestyle and tell me you didn’t throw up in your mouth a little. On the other side of things, you have Loutallica, the absolutely unlistenable collaboration between legendary Velvet Underground frontman and the aging-not-so-gracefully metal band, Metallica. Chuck Klosterman put it best saying “It’s not really designed for people who like music. It sounds like what it is: an elderly misanthrope reciting paradoxical aphorisms over a collection of repetitive, adrenalized sludge licks”. Even the typically affable, Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast chimed in calling Lulu “the worst thing i’ve ever heard”.

As always it’s up to you to decide which one is worse. Put your votes in the comments (preferably with reasoning included). I’ll post the results on my twitter feed. If your eardrums can handle it, you can sample both artists below:

The View by Lou Reed & Metallica


And so I don’t leave you on a completely negative note, here’s 10 new bands that we loved in 2011:  Youth Lagoon, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Weeknd, Yuck, Shabazz Palaces, Lord Huron, Claims Casino, Nerves Junior, Caveman, Psychic Twin.

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13 Responses to “Who’s Worse of ’11 – Kreayshawn vs. Loutallica”

  1. Eric said:

    Both are so bad its been the hardest decision i’ve had to make today. I think I have to go with Lou Reed and Metallica. Loutallica is the worst decision any band has ever made. Kreayshawn is so awful it’s kind of funny that someone so talentless has became semi-popular. Lou just hurts my ears.

  2. Bret Foster said:

    This is easy….Kreayshawn is much worse. I can think back to a time when Lou Reed and Metallica actually recorded good and important music, and while that doesn’t make LuLu any easier to listen to, I would rather listen to it 100 times than than 10 more seconds of the stupidity of Kreayshawn. I honestly feel stupider for clicking play on her video.

  3. Allen said:

    Tough choice, but have to go with Kreayshawn. One of the most reprehensible pop artists in recent history. Would rather listen to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” on repeat then any of Kreayshawn’s so-called “music”.

  4. Christine said:

    kreayshawn. i was surprisingly able to tune out loutallica (the disconnect between the lyrics and that repeating noise allowed for my lack of attention). however, kreayshawn’s obnoxious squeaking of a voice made it hard to ignore. plus, the fact that she got a record label after become viral on youtube is yet another example of how mainstream media has lost all regard for genuine talent and artistry. people may listen to loutallica based on the member’s past accomplishments, but praising this newcomer for such an appalling production is inexcusable.

  5. Ann said:

    Kreayshawn. I saw her perform live at Popped Festival in Philly: 50 of the longest minutes of my life.

  6. Taylor said:

    Kreayshawn is worse. The link to the freestyling is the saddest thing I’ve seen in quite awhile. It’s bad enough listening to what she comes up with on the spot, but she can’t even try to get into what she’s rapping about. It’s as though she even knows she’s terrible. As for Loutallica….that makes me feel pretty sad too. I think Christine said it pretty well. It sounds like they’re playing two different songs. Plain and simple: Lou Reed and Metallica just don’t work together. I don’t know how this went from one song played together at some event to an entire album….But ya know, I think I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for Lou Reed.

  7. Mitch said:

    Lulu for sure! Kreayshawn isn’t good, but I can see why people who like that music would enjoy it. However, Lulu seems to just be absorbing people who should know better: Lou Reed, Metallica and Darren Aronofsky are all tainted by the abomination that is Lulu. Stay away. Far away

  8. Sam B said:

    I think I would have to go with LuLu just because it seems like they should know better. I’ve never been a huge Metallica fan (or one at all) but they have had a long career so they must have been doing something right. I just don’t understand how halfway through either Metallica or Lou Reed didn’t realize that what they were doing wasn’t just bad but truly awful. Kreayshawn is just one of those things that was never meant for me so I just don’t care that it exists.

  9. Trala said:

    BOTH BLOW yet & ONLY because Metallica seem hopelessly bone dry all in terms of inspiration or Creativity and I cannot connect it to James new found Sobriety cuz they’ve been lacking PLENTY ever since Napster was “the ENEMY” and maybe Cliff Burton’s death could only get them to do only so much pain for great work….. I MERELY VOTE FOR Metallica SUCK MORE cuz they’re sober (NOT a Bad thing @ ALL!) though I’d BET xmas presents on if the guys took a toke & RELAXED a bit w/ Kreayshawn IT’D @ LEAST GET THE JUICES FLOWING & Pot does bring a WHOLE NEW view of things! MAN! They’re ALREADY living in California just get a Card & a Medical Marijuana 4 their Anger issues AND I WOULD BUY a Metallica LP AGAIN FOR SURE!!! Kreyshawn sucks less cuz 1 went 2 Jail @least, they SMOKE plenty, &, they don’t try 2 b anyone they arent (?!?!) IDK, Metallica should have quit after Justice or the Black Album and gone out as winners!

  10. Jack said:

    I have been pondering my vote now for longer than I would for a presidential election. Both sides have shown an unfaltering lack of creativity, talent and musicality, to an extent perhaps more disheartening than that of 3OH!3 and Ke$ha combined. However, seemingly due to my ironic hipster ways, I can find humour in the Kreayshawn line “I got the swag and it’s pumping out my ovaries” and may even cite it as one of my favourite ever lyrics.

    I have never enjoyed the music of Metallica, and their collaboration with Lou Reed has only sullied my opinion of them further. I already hold the view that metal has the capability to be one of the most unimaginative and generic sounding genres of music there is, and well, judging by the ongoing battle between Lou Reed’s vocals and the rest of the band, I can safely opine that this is one of the most abhorrent pieces of “music” I have ever heard. Subsequently, I wish my vote to be counted in the “Loutallica” pile.

    Good day.

  11. Chase said:

    Hmm. Definitely Loutallica.

  12. Trevor said:

    It’s an extremely hard decision, but I think I’m gonna go with Loutallica.

    Kreayshawn is depressingly bad, borderline racist and reminds me of those rich, slutty girls in High School that went to Community College parties then posted pictures on facebook of themselves doing beer bongs and keg stands saying things like “NITE 2 REMEMBERRRR… OR NOT LMAO”, then they make a single. This would be that single. Sure some of the lines are comical, but it’s purely out of the fact that this girl actually made this, not as a joke. Actually I hope this is a joke. But the fact that it contains some kind of melodic hook to draw listeners in and keep it in their heads gives it the edge there, over the sad, writhing mass that is Loutallica, if only by an insignificantly small margin.

    That being said, Lulu is just a festering pile of “…what???” because that is what people mutter when they listen to it for the first time. I respect both of the artists in their own careers, both leaving a trail of innovations in each of their musical spaces, but this is one thing that did not go as planned, I think. This album was like taking two things that didn’t make sense to begin with and smacking them together; trying to form something out of oil and water but having them ultimately separate and make a big mess. Sorry Lou and then gang, you didn’t make the mark on this one at all. In fact, you missed it so much that it’s almost impressive.

  13. Anonymous said:

    She wins ack!