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5 questions for Grates Guitarist – John Patterson

Date December 2, 2006

This summer I did an email interview with a member (the one to the left) of the Australian indie pop trio – The Grates. Unfortunately, only a few of the questions came back answered and the contact that set me up with the interview isn’t around anymore so my hopes of getting the other questions answered are looking dim.

Part of the interview I did get back was 5 questions that I took straight from blogger’s random question survey (if anyone has ever filled out a blogger profile they probably know what I’m talking about). So here they are as well as John’s highly amusing answers (and if anyone that represents The Grates is reading this, I still have an email full of good questions for John!)

If you were a pirate, how would you avoid laughing when saying “poop deck”?

John – pirates say heaps of funny things like ‘shiver me timber’ and ‘arrrr me hearties’. it would be really hard to not laugh, but i would just concentrate really hard on being a pirate and grow a big pirate beard so noone could see me smirk.

You’re trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

John – i guess the easiest would be to tangle the goat up in the slinky then throw the goat out of the well and then climb up the slinky to safety while the goat was your man on the outside. maybe you could punch the goat till it made a really loud noise and then someone would hear it and then you could throw them the slinky and then they could throw you one end and you could climb up.

What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?

John – gum drop buttons

You’ve written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?

John – i have this friend called mark perry who abuses me about anything i do. i always hop off stage at a show and he’s like ‘balloons are for fags’ or something like that. i can always rely on him to keep my confidence low, so as long as i’m friends with mark perry, fame would never go to my head.

If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?

John – i think if my whole body was a hot air balloon, there would be so many things i couldn’t do, and spicy food might be one of the only things i could still get pleasure from.

If you haven’t heard the Grates yet, you should really get on that. Here’s a couple of tracks to get you started.

MP3 Science is Golden
MP3 19-20-20




One Response to “5 questions for Grates Guitarist – John Patterson”


  1. Lexi said:

    hi my name is lexi